Tag Archives: Life
The Stalker, the Student and the Stud
A woman was being stalked.
For three and a half years, Ruth Jeffery lived in fear. Someone, somehow, knew every detail of her intimate life. He knew her schedule, and even had access to her e-mail accounts.
Once, he posted “intimate” pictures of her on an adult website, prompting a stranger to show up, announced, at her home.
Ruth was at her wits’ end, and counted heavily on the support of her boyfriend, who she’d been dating for more than three years; a man she’d known for more than a decade.
In fact, her boyfriend, Shane Webber, was the one person she could lean on during the ordeal. “We did everything together. I would tell him everything”. She believed he was telling her everything in return.
When her stalker created an online profile that was similar to her own, and started reaching out to her friends, pretending to be her, she got scared. This person simply knew too much about her. Was it a friend? A classmate from school?
Who could do such a thing?
Ruth stopped eating, fell into a deep depression, and was filled with fear and paranoia. She began taking anti-depressants. At one point, her studies were impacted, she was so drastically affected, she had to retake her final exams.
She was suicidal, and told those closest to her, she wanted to die.
“I don’t want to be alive anymore”
Finally, in desperation, Ruth turned to police. By this time, her harasser had pretended to be various classmates of hers, and had even hacked into her computer, sending intimate photos of her to all of her contacts from her own e-mail address. Ms. Jeffery found herself bombarded with sexually explicit photos and videos.
The desperation, depression and fear continued to spiral, Ruth was terrified, humiliated and ashamed.
Police diligently tracked the stalker, meticulously documenting incident after incident of harassment.
At one point, authorities thought they were closing in on their perp. They arrested and interrogated a close friend of Ruth’s boyfriend. Police, briefly, believed they’d found their stalker.
They were wrong.
Undeterred, police refused to give up.
Finally, they got their break, and after nearly four years of constant harassment, arrested Ruth’s long-time boyfriend, Shane Webber.
Webber is charged with causing Harassment, Alarm or Distress.
He had been harassing, stalking and intimidating his own girlfriend for the entire time they had been dating.
He has pled guilty.
Upon hearing the news, Ruth issued a statement proclaiming, “I want him to be put in prison because he has wrecked the past three-and-a-half years of my life… I’ve known him for 10 years, so in a way it feels like the past 10 years have been wasted.”
Webber is due to be sentenced on October 6, 2011.
God, Monkeys, and Swinging from Treetops
Some people are pondering the possibility that the apocalypse is near, though probably not for the reasons you may think.
No, this has nothing to do with catastrophic weather disasters, nor does it have anything to do with the rumblings of end times from the mouths of Teavangelicals.
Rather, this Horseman is much more simple.
Friends, I went to church… and I liked it.
I’ll pause a moment while you catch your breath.
Ready?
Ok. I’ll continue now.
For months, I’ve been trying to find whatever that something is that’s been missing in my life. I’m happily married, I have beautiful well-adjusted children, I’ve completed my education, I’m financially stable, I’m in good health…
… So what was it? What was this little spot- nothing more than an itch, really- that needed scratching in the center of my soul?
I’ve long considered myself a spiritual person. In fact, I’ve long considered myself a Christian. I simply chose to avoid church. I definitely had my reasons, and as a Preacher’s Kid, felt I’d had my share of that life.
Religion, for those who have never experienced such a thing, is not for the faint of heart. Especially when one’s parent happens to be the guy in the pulpit.
I came to the conclusion, somewhere around my 19th birthday that church was not for me. I stopped attending, and approximately 14 years later, can still count on one hand the number of times I’ve gone- at all- since then.
I decided, in all my teenaged wisdom, that the sanctuary was not what its named promised to be, that its pews were filled with hypocrites, liars and all around assholes. I was right, of course, and the irony that the hypocrisy, lying and tom-foolery was exactly why we all needed to be there was lost on me for many years.
Over time, as is inevitably the case, life happened, and I stopped thinking about church altogether. I became a Fox Hole Christian- only thinking about God when I really found myself in the line of fire, in the middle of a crisis, a catastrophe- praying hard that He will get me out of whatever mess I managed to plop myself into the middle of.
Lately, I’ve been on a mission to fine tune my existence. I’m not a single mom anymore, having remarried about a year ago, and it’s amazing how much pressure we can take off of ourselves when we are no longer on our own. For the first time in my entire adulthood, I feel stable and secure. Life isn’t about surviving anymore, but is now about thriving.
I can look to the future and make plans.
It was during this process that my husband, about a week ago said, “Let’s go to church this Sunday”.
I didn’t protest, not because I thought it was a great idea, but because he sprung it on me at 7 o’clock in the morning, before I’d consumed the required amount of coffee to make my brain function properly.
He could have suggested, “Let’s join a club and pretend to be monkeys who hang from the tops of trees eating bananas and screeching at passersby all day”, and I blinkingly would have nodded, mumbling something along the lines of, “that sounds like a great idea”.
Before I knew it, Sunday was here. I overslept and almost chose not to go, but something told me I had to.
I am a skeptic by nature, but walking in the door, seeing the smiles, the welcoming faces, I somehow knew- instantly- that I was in the right place.
The message was a beautiful one, from beginning to end.
It was a lesson of love, hope, forgiveness, empowerment and personal responsibility.
All the things I stand on…
… Everything that means anything to me.
I know where I’ll be this Sunday- and I’ll be there happily.
And no, I’m not talking about eating bananas from treetops, either.
Abortion, Birth Control and Online Polls
Oh. My. God.
Of all the disgusting, completely irresponsible things I have seen on the internet, this is probably the worst of them all.
I just came across an article at ParentDish about the Arnold family. Alicha Arnold is pregnant, and apparently didn’t know whether or not she wanted to keep the child…
… So…
She, along with her husband, started a website. The purpose of the site is to poll the public- should they have the baby or abort it?
Mrs. Arnold, who has been married for 9 years, explains her uncertainty by saying, “I’m not convinced that I want to change the status quo… I feel that as I age I’ve actually gotten more selfish and set in my ways. I’m afraid that I will eventually regret starting a family and ‘settling down,’ as they say. I fear that the constant pressure to be the perfect wife and mother while maintaining a full-time job will eventually cause my brain to implode and lead to a nervous breakdown.”
Wow.
The Arnolds seem well-educated and financially stable. They both work in technology, and have been a couple for more than a decade. Certainly for these two upwardly mobile people, birth control was not a mystery, or a myth. They could have easily availed themselves to it, and yet they didn’t. When the inevitable happened (you see, when two people love each other, the man will stick his… well, you know where I’m headed with this…), and she got pregnant, she turned to that which she knows best- technology- to help make the biggest, most heart-wrenching, personal decision she will likely ever face.
No wait.
Allow me to rephrase.
She turned to others- strangers (!) to make that decision for her.
I am disgusted.
Ultimately, it seems the Arnolds, with the public’s assistance, have chosen to continue their pregnancy.
Truly, I have no idea if I’m relieved or not…
… This woman will be a mother soon.
How do you parent a child whose fate you once left to the public? To strangers, freaks, hackers, psychopaths, politicians (sorry- couldn’t resist!)?
“Now look, Junior! You better show some respect! If not for that 51% on my website, you wouldn’t even be here right now! Go clean your room like I asked you to!”
Huh.
I dunno, folks.
I declare I’ve seen it all.
My Him
In many ways, I feel as if I’ve lived a lifetime since October, 2006. It was during that time I seperated from and ultimately divorced my (now ex) husband.
Since then I have experienced much- I lived through the effects of substance abuse and domestic violence; I have learned the lesson of financial independence and been taught to live the life of a single mother; I have had more fun than I ever could have imagined, and cried more tears than I ever thought possible; I discovered passions I never knew existed- social justice, politics and writing; I have learned about the holes unresolved pain and anger can burn into our souls…
… But most importantly, perhaps, I have learned the lesson of unconditional love, the lesson of how to forgive and the lesson of what it means to be forgiven.
It wasn’t long after I seperated from my ex-husband that My Him came into my life. We quickly became fast-friends- kindred spirits- conversating constantly about anything and everything; the time we spent together… stolen moments here and there… rarely, a night or a weekend… but never enough, became my lifeline.
We laughed, we cried, we fought, and we loved like crazy… though we did so in such completely imperfect fashion that somehow, through all the twists and turns, we managed to make it perfect nonetheless.
I quickly found myself relying on him for many things: emotional support, companionship, intense political debates and so much more. He was my shoulder to cry on, my biggest, proudest cheerleader, the most fierce, passionate man I had ever met. He knew how to pick me up, and just when to push me hard.
I learned, through that friendship, what it means to have a partner. Even when forced to deal with me at my ugliest, he never flinched… perhaps he knew what I didn’t… that soon, our roles would reverse, and it was he who would be in need.
I, like My Him for me, was there.
Hurdle after hurdle, we cleared them all. We were not graceful, my Him and I, but we certainly worked harder than we’d ever worked at anything in our lives. More than once, we almost didn’t make it, the speedbumps too large, the blindspots too wide…
… Always, however, we pulled through.
Our bond became stronger through each and every trial and triumph, until finally, we knew.
Ours is the stuff steel is made of. Ours is not to be broken.
As I reflect on the last few years of my life, I realize that through a single person, I have learned more about myself, my potential, my very inner core than a thousand men could ever have hoped to teach me. While there are many unknowns that lay ahead, one thing is certain- no matter the journey or distance I am to travel, I am to do so with My Him right beside me.
My life is in transition again… things are changing quickly… but I am not alone. My rock is here to support me, to stand strong next to me.
To Him who has become my heart, I have to say thank you.
Thank you for allowing me in, thank you for accepting nothing less than the best from me… thank you for loving me, for forgiving me… thank you for finding me and never giving up on me…
… Thank you for making me your wife.
I will live the rest of my days making sure you never regret it.
Fort Hood- A Terrible Tragedy
Many people have asked my thoughts on the tragedy that unfolded in recent days at Fort Hood, TX. I have received telephone calls, e-mails, and even a comment on another post on this particular blog, all wanting to know if I was going to post about the tragic events that cost 13 people their lives, wounding many others. At last count, 17 people remained hospitalized.
Some people were merely curious, legitimately wanting to know my thoughts on the subject. Others have asked their questions as if daring me to politicize this event, baiting me to write up a post that is sympathetic to the shooter.
For those who thought I’d have sympathy for Major Nidal Malik Hasan, a mass murderer and coward, you are wrong, and obviously do not know me nearly as well as you seem to think you do.
I have nothing to offer with regards to this subject other than that my thoughts and prayers are with each and every one of the families that have been impacted by this heinous act.
I pray that justice is served.
In the meantime, I will not attempt to comprehend what drove a man, a soldier, to take the lives of fellow Americans. Some of the victims had recently returned from tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan. That they survived in a war zone simply to be gunned down back at home by one of their own is outrageous and heartbreaking. Others were preparing to deploy overseas, and were ready to face the dangers the war offered, not realizing that the real danger, for them at least, existed here at home.
I have seen some news outlets referring to this as mass homicide, with others calling it a terrorist act.
I feel it is both of those, though I will never truly grasp it as anything that can possibly have a rational explanation.
For me to attempt to understand this type of needless bloodletting is futile. That’s why I didn’t write about it to begin with. I realize Hasan was a Muslim, but were he a true Muslim, he would not have behaved in this fashion. I realize he was a psychiatrist, someone who was continuously subjected to the horror stories of his fellow soldiers. Perhaps the nightmares became too real. If, however, this is the case, he wasn’t any more a real soldier than he was a true follower of Islam.
Did he snap due to the harrassment he received as a result of his religion?
Did his impending deployment to go fight a war he did not believe in cause him to lose his mind?
Most likely, we will never know the answer to those questions, and many more like them.
Personally, I don’t care about the why.
There is no answer, no conclusion I can come to about this incident that will make me understand what has just occured in Texas, nor can any excuse for this man’s behavior justify his actions.
What is important are the lives lost at Fort Hood. The soldiers- the mothers, the fathers, the brothers, the sons, daughters, husbands and wives- who were brutality murdered by a man who was supposed to be one of them.
It is sad that many of us will forever remember the name Major Nidal Malik Hasan.
How many of us will remember the names of the victims?
I will.
I won’t forget Francheska Velez, Capt. John Gaffaney, Pfc. Aaron Thomas Nemelka, Pfc. Michael Pearson, Spc. Jason Dean Hunt, Michael Grant Cahill, Spc. Frederick Greene, Staff Sgt. Justin M. DeCrow, Sgt. Amy Krueger, Pfc. Kham Xiong, Juanita Warman, Major L. Eduardo Caraveo, and Russell Seager.
May they rest in peace, and God bless them all.
Representative Wilson Falsely Claims Obama Lied… Will You Stand With Joe?
Representative Joe Wilson from South Carolina sure did cause a stink Wednesday evening.
Wilson was the guy who famously hollered, “You lie!” in the middle of the President’s speech about health care reform to the Joint Sessions of Congress Wednesday night. Obama was in the process of addressing a pesky falsehood about the health care bill, one stating that should the legislation pass, illegal immigrants will be offered free, government-sponsored health insurance. Mr. Wilson decided he wasn’t going to let the facts deter him, even though this particular myth has already been debunked by just about everybody.
The current legislation, in each and every version that is being debated, states unequivocally that credits for coverage will not be extended to any persons who are not legally residing in this country. According to Politifact’s Bill Adair, the bill (H.R. 3200), goes to great lengths to make sure that “illegal immigrants do not get the credits for the health care exchange that would allow them to get free care”.
How ironic that in the process of trying to tell the world that President Obama is a liar, Rep. Wilson was, himself, perpetuating one helluva whopper.
Ah, politics at its finest.
The only reason I stop short of calling Joe Wilson a liar is because I am unsure of his motives. Afterall, I have no way of knowing whether he really believes the nonsense he’s spewing. Nor do I know if he’s consciously spreading false claims, caring not the slightest about honesty and decency, all in an effort to simply keep the bill from passing.
I would argue, however, that it doesn’t matter.
The fact remains that one of South Carolina’s elected officials willfully and knowingly openly disrespected the President of the United States during a formal speech.
This was not some informal townhall gathering in local Mayberry, USA. The yahoos who lack the common decency to respect the President when he is speaking were not supposed to be in attendance Wednesday night. That the people who do not know how to temporarily hold their tongues and allow the Leader of the Free World to speak, uninterrupted, have joined the ranks as politicians- Congressional representatives, for God’s sake- is disheartening. I expect them to behave better than this, even as they oppose the subject that is being spoken of.
Representative Wilson certainly has bad manners.
Politicians, pundits, and talk show hosts alike have ample opportunity twenty four hours a day, seven days a week to express their displeasure on anything and everything. Whether that displeasure stems from the recent actions of the President, fellow politicians, celebrities or just some Joe The Plumber type guy they happened to run into one day, there are plenty of appropriate venues in which to express oneself.
This is the age of technology, after all.
Wilson could have taken his grievance public by putting thinking cap on and writing a blog. He could have written an open letter, printed in any number of news publications, to the President to voice his displeasure. He could have called just about anyone over at Fox News and been welcomed on their airwaves and into our living rooms with open arms. He could have called a press conference to discuss his issues. He could have put a scathing statement expressing his displeasure on his website. Or he could have sent out a mass e-mail telling the thousands of folks who are no doubt on his mailing list exactly how he feels.
Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, isn’t that what Twitter and Facebook are for? Those two websites have worked wonders for Sarah Palin, after all.
In fact, not only could he have done all of these things, he could have done them all simultaneously.
Instead, our esteemed member of Congress, hailing from the great state of South Carolina, chose to make an ass out of himself on national television by rudely interrupting the President in a bizarre outburst that truly accomplished nothing more than making him look unhinged.
He has been forced to apologize- twice now- and while Democrats were predictably outraged by Wilson’s actions, even Republicans have soundly given him the ol’ smack upside the head for using such terrible judgment.
It doesn’t appear that his outburst had any sort of negative effect on the speech itself. In fact, early numbers show that after watching Obama speak Wednesday night, Americans are beginning to change their mind about the health care bill.
While health care support was inching up, the President’s approval ratings were doing the same- the President realized a double digit jump, even as Joe Wilson’s popularity plummeted.
In fact, Wilson’s likely opponent in 2010, Rob Miller, raised an astounding $350,000 for his campaign in less than 24 hours after Mr. Wilson’s unfortunate gaffe.
Stepping neatly into the role of victim, Joe Wilson is claiming that he is being punished for speaking out against the “critical issue of healthcare”. He is begging his supporters to send him money, and “Stand with Joe”.
How sad.
Representative Wilson is not in trouble for speaking his mind. He is in trouble for his appalling lack of manners and respect. He is in trouble for lacking the self-control to keep his temper in check while the President of the United States was speaking. Most importantly, it was his own actions, his own words, his own bad timing that got him into trouble. Had he kept his mouth shut for the short time Obama was speaking, it never would have been necessary for him to apologize, or answer calls for his censure to begin with.
Poor Joe.
Posted by C Haze on September 10, 2009 in Barack Obama, Blogging, Comments, Congress, Current Events, Democrats, Elections, Fox News, Healthcare Reform, House of Representatives, Joe the Plumber, Joe Wilson, Life, News, Politics, President, Republicans, Sarah Palin
Tags: Barack Obama, Congress, Current Events, Democrats, Fox News, GOP, House of Representatives, Joe Wilson, Joint Sessions of Congress, Life, News, Obama, Politics, President, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Senate, South Carolina, Speech