Posted in C-Haze, Funny, Humor, Single Mom

Cops, Drug Paraphernalia, Dobbs and License Plates

Alright, so sometimes shit gets away from me, and I fall a little (ahem) behind on stuff that needs to get done.

For example, my plates expired in March.

Yeah, March. It’s June.

Why have I not been all over this?


Who knows. Just wasn’t worried about it, I guess.

Consequently, I’ve been driving on expired tags for the better part of 3 months now. The longer I was able to go without getting caught, the less I worried about renewing my plates, and the lower it went on the list of shit to get done.

Well, I got pulled over yesterday.


It was an ordeal, too. Ol’ Barney Fife was convinced I had weed paraphernalia in my vehicle. Even asked if it was ok to search it. I was pissed he’d even ask such a thing… but the reason is that about a year ago, one of my license plates got stolen… and it was used in some kinda drug deal or something. The plate became evidence in a trial, so I never got it back.

The problem is, every time I get pulled over now, we have to go through this, “M’am, do you have drugs in the vehicle?” nonense.

Annoying as hell.

Anyway, once we got that all worked out- and he realized I’m just a suburban chick from St. Charles on my way to work, Mr. Copper decided to give me a ticket for the expired tags. 

Shoot. Now I really do have to get my plates renewed. Stat.


So I get in to work this morning, and diligently- first thing- called Dobbs because they’re right down the street from my job, and scheduled my inspection and emissions testing for this afternoon. Then I hopped online and paid my personal property tax… I was on a roll!

I started to think that this is pretty easy afterall and maybe I was a teeny bit stupid for having waited so long to begin with.

I asked my friend to follow me to the car place so I could drop my vehicle off, and she can give me a ride back. I had the appointment scheduled and everything, so off we go.

Why can’t anything be simple?

See, when we got to Dobbs, no one knew who I was. Said they didn’t have anything scheduled for me today, and certainly were not expecting a 2006 Chrysler Sebring…

Well what happened then?

I was adamant.

“I TALKED TO TOM!! Where is he?? He’s the guy who scheduled this thing!!”

“M’am”, I was told, “There is no Tom here”.


Shit. Am I hallucinating again? Did I or did I not just call these people and make an appointment?


I’m almost sure I did… 

That’s when they tell me… “I think there’s a guy named Tom at the other Dobbs, at the other end of Olive”.

I’m at the wrong Dobbs.

Who knew there are 2 of them on the street I work on?

That should be outlawed. Having 2 of the exact same establishments on the same damn street is just plain greedy. 

Not to mention very confusing.

How the hell was I supposed to know where I was calling? I just looked in the phone book, saw the street name (so what if I paid no attention whatsoever to the address itself) and called.

“Well ok- so I made the appointment at the wrong flippin’ place. So what? I’m here now. Can’t you just be a dear and squeeze me in real quick? Please?”

Yeah- that’s me actually begging.

They were unsympathetic to my plight (jerks) and sent me off to the correct Dobbs.


What started as a quick little break from work to drop my car off is turning into an hour-long scavenger hunt. I hate scavenger hunts to begin with.

That other stupid Dobbs may technically be on the same street as this one, but lord help me it was far enough away.

This nightmare took so long, I had to call my boss to explain why I had been AWOL from the office for such an extended period…

She laughed at me.

In response, I wished her many years of unsuccessful plate-renewals. That’ll teach her.

I finally found the right stupid place and managed to drop my car off. The guy wanted to know what my license plate number was, when I was standing at the counter waiting for them put me in the computer.

I didn’t respond.

I guess he could tell by the look on my face that it’d been a bad morning cuz he didn’t ask again. He just said, “You know what, I’ll skip that part for now… I can always go get your plate number later”.

Yeah. Do that.

I have never been shy about the fact that when it comes time to handle certain things- lightbulbs, tires, oil changes- and now state inspections/emissions/plate-renewals…

I hate being single.

However make no mistake. Once my car passes that inspection and I don’t have to worry about tags again for 2 more years… I will once again be a happily single chick… until a lightbulb goes out or I need another oil change, that is.


Tryin' to get the hang of this life thing... one step at a time!

4 thoughts on “Cops, Drug Paraphernalia, Dobbs and License Plates

  1. We have to do the renewal/inspection every damn year. I’m on the ball this time – I’m only overdue by 2 weeks. We’ll see about the Inspections.

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