Posted in C-Haze

WW, Comfort, and Releasing the Armor

I’m making progress, and wanted to maybe start sharing some of that here, in an effort to keep me accountable, and as kind of a weight loss diary.

So far I’m down a total of 5 lbs, 2.2 of which I lost this past week.

I’m having to learn how to overcome some pretty big challenges in order to lose weight. Initially, it was alcohol. As an alcoholic, I needed to get into recovery, because I was consuming more than a full day’s worth of calories just in liquor alone. That took some time, as I had to learn how to LIVE without alcohol in my life, and wisely chose not to focus on my weight while also trying to focus on abstaining from alcohol.

Now that I’m no longer struggling day-to-day with alcoholism, and have learned how to live a sober life, I’m now having to learn how to make positive, healthy food choices. In some ways, this has been more difficult than cutting the alcohol out of my life was.

Food has been a source of comfort to me since I was a little girl. I had a fast enough metabolism so that I didn’t have any weight concerns until well into adulthood, but looking back over my life, I never had the best relationship with food.

Food was my security blanket, and later, as an adult, the fat and extra pounds it put on me was my armor, protecting me from the rest of the world.

I’m definitely working on all that, and am working to come up with solutions to make it easier for me to make healthy day-to-day choices. I used to wait until very late in the day to eat anything, so that I was absolutely famished – and prone to making horrible food choices. I’d opt for anything comforting (fast food, overly processed food, anything high in bad fats/carbs). Due to my famished state, I’d over-consume, and then wallow in self-pity because my willpower is so puny.

Currently, I’m trying to eat something each morning. Fruit, some lean turkey breast, a cheese stick – something.

Next, I’m allowing my husband, who supports me in whatever I do, no matter what size I happen to be, to actually help me achieve my goals. He loves to cook, for example, while I hate it. I might get a wild hair decide to cook a meal every now and again, but certainly not with any regularity, and definitely not after a long day of work, when I’m already tired and hungry. My husband has graciously accepted the responsibility of cooking for us each day. We choose healthy meals from the Weight Watchers app that I can easily track, and that’s what he makes for me.

I’m not cooking, but I’m still eating healthy.

Clearly, based off my 5 lb loss, it’s working. I still have a ways to go yet, but I like the trend.


Tryin' to get the hang of this life thing... one step at a time!

One thought on “WW, Comfort, and Releasing the Armor

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