Category: Dating

Posted in Crime, Current Events, Dating, Rape

Date Rape, Nail Polish and Empowering Women

Posted on by C-Haze

Nail-PolishThere’s been a lot of uproar lately about this new nail polish that can detect whether or not date rape drugs are present in one’s drink. After applying the polish, a person can stir the drink with their finger, and the color will change if drugs are detected.

A lot of women are critical of this, saying the responsibility of whether to rape or not falls squarely on the shoulders of the rapist. Still others hail this as a wonderful invention.

I agree with those who say this nail polish is a wonderful thing. While I also agree that only the rapist bears responsibility for committing the crime of rape, I fully support anything that empowers women, and makes them less likely to be victimized.

No one would tell a homeowner not to bother locking their doors at night, because we all understand that doing so makes us less likely to be the victims of a home invasion. Equally true, if someone neglects to lock their doors, no one is going to blame them for getting robbed. The robber is still fully responsible for committing the crime.

We tell women not to leave their drinks unattended in bars, we tell women to use the buddy system when out partying, and to make sure someone is always aware of their plans. We fully support women who choose to take self-defense classes, and constantly remind them to “trust” their guts, don’t be afraid to walk away from a situation that feels funny, even if the reason for that feeling is not easily identified.

How is the idea of the nail polish any different from any of those things? There is nothing wrong with taking action to make us less likely to be victimized. If, despite the actions we have taken (and even if no action was taken at all), the unthinkable happens, it is not the victim’s fault. That’s not what this nail polish symbolizes, nor is that what supporters are claiming.

Predators use ever-evolving technology to accomplish more and more dastardly deeds. It’s high time technology was used to stop them in their tracks.

Posted in C-Haze, Current Events, Dating, News, Off The Wall, Porn, Pornography, Relationships, True Crime

The Stalker, the Student and the Stud

Posted on by C-Haze

A woman was being stalked.

For three and a half years, Ruth Jeffery lived in fear. Someone, somehow, knew every detail of her intimate life. He knew her schedule, and even had access to her e-mail accounts.

Once, he posted “intimate” pictures of her on an adult website, prompting a stranger to show up, announced, at her home.

Ruth was at her wits’ end, and counted heavily on the support of her boyfriend, who she’d been dating for more than three years; a man she’d known for more than a decade.

In fact, her boyfriend, Shane Webber, was the one person she could lean on during the ordeal. “We did everything together. I would tell him everything”. She believed he was telling her everything in return.

When her stalker created an online profile that was similar to her own, and started reaching out to her friends, pretending to be her, she got scared. This person simply knew too much about her. Was it a friend? A classmate from school?

Who could do such a thing?

Ruth stopped eating, fell into a deep depression, and was filled with fear and paranoia. She began taking anti-depressants. At one point, her studies were impacted, she was so drastically affected, she had to retake her final exams.

She was suicidal, and told those closest to her, she wanted to die.

“I don’t want to be alive anymore”

 Finally, in desperation, Ruth turned to police. By this time, her harasser had pretended to be various classmates of hers, and had even hacked into her computer, sending intimate photos of her to all of her contacts from her own e-mail address. Ms. Jeffery found herself bombarded with sexually explicit photos and videos.

The desperation, depression and fear continued to spiral, Ruth was terrified, humiliated and ashamed.

Police diligently tracked the  stalker, meticulously documenting incident after incident of harassment.

At one point, authorities thought they were closing in on their perp. They arrested and interrogated a close friend of Ruth’s boyfriend. Police, briefly, believed they’d found their stalker.

They were wrong.

Undeterred, police refused to give up.

Finally, they got their break, and after nearly four years of constant harassment, arrested Ruth’s long-time boyfriend, Shane Webber.

Webber is charged with causing Harassment, Alarm or Distress.

He had been harassing, stalking and intimidating his own girlfriend for the entire time they had been dating.

He has pled guilty.

Upon hearing the news, Ruth issued a statement proclaiming, “I want him to be put in prison because he has wrecked the past three-and-a-half years of my life… I’ve known him for 10 years, so in a way it feels like the past 10 years have been wasted.”

Webber is due to be sentenced on October 6, 2011.

Posted in C-Haze, Children, Conservative, Current Events, Dating, David Letterman, Democrats, Family, Funny, Humor, John McCain, Liberal, News, Parent, Parenting, Politics, Relationships, Sarah Palin, Sex, Willow Palin

David Letterman, John McCain and Willow Palin

Posted on by C-Haze

Ok, so David Letterman may have crossed a line with his recent jokes regarding Sarah Palin and her daughter, with some people even calling for his termination from CBS.

I thought the jokes specifically about Governor Palin were pretty funny- and not the slightest bit out of line- though perhaps slightly off-color.

I did, however, cringe at his quip about Palin’s daughter.

The Governor had taken her 14 year old daughter to a Yankees game while recently visiting New York. Letterman joked on his show that during the Seventh Inning Stretch, Willow, the daughter, got “knocked up” by Alex Rodriguez.

Disgusting, for sure.

I’m not here to condone Letterman’s comments. Personally, I feel that for the most part, children of politicians should be off limits for all of us- late night comedians included. I do make an exception for people such as Megan McCain (John McCain’s daughter) and Bristol Palin (Sarah Palin’s oldest daughter) because A) they are not minors and B) they have chosen a life in the public eye- Megan as a popular blogger, Bristol as a public advocate for abstinence.

Personally, I’m not a fan of the double standard here.

Can you imagine, for example, had Conan O’Brien quipped, during Michelle Obama’s recent trip to London with her daughters, that Sasha (or Malia- pick a kid), had been knocked up by Hugh Grant?

Or worse, Boy George?

David Beckham?

I realize that politically incorrect, often distasteful humor, is par for the course in late night comedic television… but sometimes, as we all know, lines do get crossed, and feelings get hurt.

Unfortunately, and it pains me to say this- as I am a Letterman fan- his so-called apology on the matter was grossly inadequate. Letterman claims that his joke regarding Palin’s daughter was actually geared towards Bristol Palin, but I’m not buying it. Everyone knows Bristol was not the one who accompanied her mother to the Yankees game, and surely,  considering all of Letterman’s staff, if not the big man himself, someone would have picked up on this fact.

This, at best, was a terrible gaffe on the part of his research department. At worst, he knew exactly what he was saying and who he was saying it about.

Regardless, it was a completely inappropriate thing to say.

What enrages me, however, even more than Letterman’s false and disengenuous apology, is certain Republican politicians’ reactions to his comments.

John McCain, for example, when asked his opinion by news source Reuters, stated, “I don’t understand why Letterman would say that about a young woman… They deserve some kind of protection from being the butt of late-night hosts.”

Really?

Funny, considering McCain’s own comments about then-President Bill Clinton’s daughter, Chelsea, on the Letterman show back in 1998:

Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?  Because Janet Reno is her father.

It makes one wonder… are John McCain and friends truly against the idea of people attacking the children of politicians… or does it only become a no-no when said politician is a fellow conservative?

Letterman was wrong for saying the things he said about Willow Palin, and that family deserves a genuine apology.

… But as we all know, peoplewho live in glass houses should not throw stones.

Willow Palin deserves our outrage on her behalf. Unfortunately, when it comes from such sources as John McCain, the anger appears phony, crafted, politically motivated and most of all, horribly hypocritical.

Pedophilia, rape and teenage sex are not humorous topics- regardless of who is making the joke, or who the joke is about.

It is, after all, a national epidemic, as Sarah Palin and family know first hand.

Perhaps, instead of duking it out over which public figures’ children are and aren’t off limits, our time would be better spent advocating on behalf of the children who find themselves the butt of these most reprehensible jokes.

Posted in C-Haze, Change, Dating, Relationships, Sex, Single Mom

Steve Harvey, Standards and Dating

Posted on by C-Haze

I have been a fan of Steve Harvey’s for years.

I loved the original Kings of Comedy, and faithfully watched the Steve Harvey Show for years.

Nowadays I listen to his radio program every morning on my way to work, and his book “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” is definitely on my list of must-reads.

Recently Mr. Harvey was on Oprah promoting the book.

One of the things he talked about really struck me as a single woman.

Steve believes women have set the dating bar way too low.

I agree.

We have no standards anymore.

Harvey tells Oprah, “Women talk about [how] chivalry’s dead. Chivalry’s not dead– it’s just not required anymore”.

Again, he’s right.

Dating is tricky- it’s exhausting, and really isn’t that much fun- not for me, at least.

I hate those first few initial dates… everything is all formal and uncomfortable…

… Nervewracking.

Inevitably, just as I’m starting to feel ok around Mr. Wonderful, as I’m getting to know him better, I begin to realize…

He really isn’t all that wonderful.

Great.

Back to the drawing board.

It gets exhausting, and at times it’s hard to keep my chin up.

I find myself wondering if the problem is me… am I asking too much?

Steve Harvey believes that women need to have strict standards… and that we need to stick to them.

Personally speaking, I have 3 iron-clad requirements:

  1. He must have his own transportation
  2. He must have a job- and currently be supporting himself
  3. He must have his own place

I think my 3 criteria are pretty basic…

… But you’d be amazed.

Seems that looking for someone who has a car, a job and his own place puts me into the “picky” category.

I don’t want to date a man who lives with his parents- this inevitably means we have to spend all our time, when not out, at my house. Some days I don’t feel like cleaning. Sometimes I don’t feel like being the host. It’s nice to have options every once in a while.

I don’t want to date a man who does not have his own method of transportation. I am not willing to do all the driving anytime we go out or just want to see each other.

I don’t want to date a man who cannot support himself.

I am a single mother- I have to take care of myself and my 2 daughters.

I simply do not have the means or the energy- let alone the inclination- to take care of a grown ass man.

I have too many responsibilities of my own.

None of my requirements seem unreasonable to me… afterall, I am not asking anything of anyone that I, myself, do not have.

I have my own place.

I have my own car.

I have a job, and I support myself.

Yet, when I try and explain to people that these three requirements are non-negotiable with me, I am called a gold-digger.

Seriously.

After a while, I find myself making excuses…

“Well, we are in a recession… times are tough… it’s not so bad that he lives with his parents…”

“The job market sucks… unemployment is really high… it’s not so bad that he doesn’t have a job…”

The problem is that while lowering my standards I am  increasing my odds of actually landing a date- I am also drastically decreasing my chances of finding someone I can respect… someone whose company I can truly enjoy… someone I feel is worth getting to know.

So many of us need to remind ourselves that a relationship is not the end-all-be-all in this world.

It’s not necessary to our survival.

Let’s stop lowering our standards… let’s stop being afraid of being alone…

… And let’s show the men out there that we are women worth working hard for.

Thanks to Steve Harvey for reminding me that if chivalry’s dead, it’s only because I have killed it.

Posted in C-Haze, Change, Current Events, Dating, Hope, News, Policy, Politics, Relationships, Religion, Science, Sex, Single Mom

AIDS, Andino, and The Diva

Posted on by C-Haze

There’s been a lot of talk lately about the AIDS epidemic- both in the U.S. and abroad.

I’ve blogged about it myself on more than one occassion.

It’s been my stance, since day one, that one of the keys to curbing what is fast becoming a plague is education.

The abstinence-only approach isn’t just unrealistic- it is dangerous.

It simply isn’t enough.

Some people may take well to a lesson on abstinence, but many others will ignore it entirely.

Too often, parents use abstinence as a cop-out. It’s an excuse not to have to talk about things we do not feel comfortable discussing.

As parents, we need to get over it.

We must educate our children. We must remove the stigma that is currently attached to having open, candid conversations with them.

AIDS will kill our babies if we don’t.

My oldest daughter, The Diva (she’s 10), was trying to make some money by doing extra chores the other day.

She decided to clean out The Hippie Andino’s car- he’s my 25 year-old baby brother.

I thought this was a wonderful idea.

When she was done with the job, she came back inside, and I immediately noticed the look of horror on her face. She was holding something in her hand, though I couldn’t tell what it was.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

She answers, in an accusing tone, “Look what I found in The Hippie Andino’s trunk…”, and shoves the contents of her hand in my face.

When I saw what she was holding, I could immediately feel the heat in my cheeks. Though I really had no reason to be, I found myself embarrassed for her.

She was holding a tattered box of condoms.

Oops.

I was confused by her tone… why is she being accusatory? Why is she acting as my brother is doing something wrong by having safe sex?

I decided to take this opportunity to speak candidly with my child- and hopefully turn this into a teaching moment.

So I asked her, “Why would you be upset?”

She responded, “Because- they’re condoms. Gross.”

I said to her, “He is being responsible. He’s having safe sex. He isn’t getting anyone pregnant, and he is protecting himself and his partner from sexually transmitted diseases.”

I explained that while condoms may seem “gross” to her right now, they are important.

They save lives.

The Diva’s world opened up just a little at that moment.

She didn’t view those condoms in disgust or contempt any longer, and with great relief I realized, she gets it.

It isn’t necessary to constantly harp on our children, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week about the horrors of sex and AIDS.

This particular exchange took less than five minutes, from start to finish.

We can educate our babies a step at a time- provided we start the process early enough. By the time they find themselves old enough to be faced with these grave decisions, they will have already had all the information they need to make the right choices.

Hopefully, by then, it will be second nature.

With absolutely no bombarding whatsoever- by taking advantage of the little teaching moments life throws our way- we can raise our kids to be responsible adults…

… One educational opportunity at a time.

Posted in Barack Obama, C-Haze, Dating, Elections, Homosexuality, News, Policy, Politics, Presidential Campaign, Relationships, War on Terror

Barack Obama, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and the Irony of the Brave Cowards

Posted on by C-Haze

It seems Obama is gearing up to deal with yet another controversial issue that is near and dear to my heart.

Recently, during a YouTube question and answer session with Robert Gibbs (Obama’s incoming White House Press Secretary), a viewer asked if this would be the administration that repeals the country’s  “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy on gays in the military.

The answer…

Yes.

A resounding yes.

I never understood why we had to have this ridiculous policy to begin with, but I do realize that there are millions of fearful people in this country… otherwise kind-hearted people who don’t realize that their fear of that which they don’t understand has made them bigots…

… Rather than try to have a little compassion, perhaps educating ourselves a bit… we tend take the easy way out, as a result becoming cowards. 

Gay people have always fit neatly into the “we don’t understand” category.

Why is it that to so many people, a simple lack of understanding equals carte blanche permission to hate, judge and discriminate?

Oh well.

Back to the subject at hand…

I’ve heard all the arguments- absolute nonsense- that by allowing gays in the military, their assigned unit’s “cohesion” is in jeopardy… as in, if a gay man falls in love with another man in his unit, he may sacrifice the good of the unit’s mission by putting his lover’s safety higher on the priority list than that of the unit’s…

You know…  should they find themselves in that situation.

Bullshit.

That argument became moot when the military began allowing men and women to serve in the same unit… would not a straight guy who’s in love with a woman in his unit potentially act in the exact same fashion?

Huh…

… And yet, nobody’s raising the argument in that particular scenario, now are they?

The bottom line is that lots of straight people feel “icky” that they may be serving- eating, sleeping, soldiering- with a member of the same sex, someone who could potentially develop the hots for them.

That makes all kinds of sense.

Or not.

It’s ironic how some of the world’s bravest men and women so staunchly support a policy that gives them an excuse to be cowardly.

Scaredy-cats.

The good news is that times are changing, and we finally have a leader who is truly and unapologetically against discrimination- in all its ugly forms.

That truly is something to be proud of.

Posted in C-Haze, Dating, News, Relationships

Virginity, Auctions and Advanced Degrees

Posted on by C-Haze

So I just read a news story about this 22-year old from San Diego who is auctioning off her virginity.

Currently, the auction stands at $3.7 million.

What the hell??

See, I was initially thinking this was just plain ludicrous.

Then I learned she’s doing it to pay for college- an advanced degree, no less.

She wants to be a family and marriage counselor.

Oh.

In that case, carry on.

Posted in C-Haze, Dating, Funny, Humor, Marriage, News, Relationships, Religion

Megachurches, Heathens and An Unmarried Me

Posted on by C-Haze

I’m feeling a little discriminated against.

I have learned that the pastor of a megachurch in Dallas, TX is issuing a 7-day sex challenge to his married congregants.

Now I don’t typically follow the goings on of megachurches, but this caught my eye.

It seems that Reverand Ed Young, in his attempt to strengthen the bond of married couples, is challenging them to have sex at least once a day for the next 7 days.

Daggumit.

Why can’t the un-married folks participate?

That’s a challenge I could really get involved in!

Reverand Young feels that sex outside the sanctity of marriage is a sin.

… And while I understand he’s not the only one who feels this way…

I feel as if I am being excluded from an activity I could definitely benefit from, simply by nature of the fact that I am single.

So…

I am issuing a challenge of my own to all you sinnin’ heathens out there…

… Have sex, and have lots of it… non-stop if you can, for the next 14 days!

We’ll beat that ol’ rev at his own game.

Hope everyone has fun, and please- for the sake of your souls, do not forget to get on your knees…

… No, not for that, you perverts…

Ahem…

You’ll need to get on your knees and pray to God for forgiveness when you’re done.

No need to spend eternity in hell, all cuz of the fun of 2 short weeks, right?

After all, a sin’s a sin… and we probably don’t want to take any chances.

I’m just sayin’.

Posted in C-Haze, Dating, Elections, Homosexuality, Marriage, News, Politics, Race, Relationships, Religion

Proposition 8, Gay People and God-Sanctioned Orgasms

Posted on by C-Haze

I wasn’t sure if I should really touch this subject or not…

… But seeing as I’ve never been one to keep my mouth shut, here I am- and I intend to touch the hell out of this thing.

Proposition 8, in California, has passed.

That’s old news of course, but I’m just now getting around to talking about it, so let’s just jump right in.

For those of you who have lived in a cave for the past 8 days, Prop 8 is California’s Gay Marriage ban.

I guess I was a little surprised that the measure succeeded… not because I harbor any silly notions that this country has progressed beyond the point of denying any single group of people their civil rights… but because in my mind, if this thing was going to fail, California’s the state that would be most likely to drop-kick it.

Clearly I was wrong, but I suppose that’s neither here nor there.

What really got me going is how the stupid Proposition passed.

It wouldn’t have been any less a shame had the super-right evangelical Christians managed to pass it on their own… but it certainly would have hurt my heart a lot less.

I mean, it’s expected that those guys would be overzealous in their support of such a shameful piece of crap… merely masking itself as bona-fide legislation.

Let’s face it- the Christian right has no qualms about shoving their religion down the rest of our throats… that whole seperation of Church and State thing only applies to non-Christians in their minds… as in, if you ain’t Christian, don’t you dare even try to legislate shit.

Otherwise, it’s cool.

But folks, it wasn’t simply the Christian-Right that passed the same-sex marriage ban.

It was minorities.

As in blacks and latinos.

Huh.

A group of people, oppressed for generations… still fighting daily for their own civil rights… helped pass a piece of shit law that takes one of the fundamental freedoms that they themselves enjoy away from an entire group of people.

It wasn’t so long ago that black people didn’t have the freedom to choose their marital partners either… have we already forgotten our not-too-distant-past when blacks were banned from marrying whites?

Hell, in Alabama that shit was still illegal into the 21st century!

I am disgusted.

What harm does it do a damn one of us, allowing two people to who love each other- even if they are the same sex- to get married? In what ways do our lives become negatively impacted by two committed adults choosing to celebrate their love and commitment for each other by making that bond official?

None.

The rest of us can do it…

… So why can’t gay people?

I get that this has to do with religion for a lot of people… but to those same people I say, mind your own damn business. If you disagree with the notion of two people of the same sex marrying, then don’t do it… never forget, however, that you are not God… you do not get to judge… and you certainly have no business judging the choices of others.

Besides, why are we picking and choosing which parts of the Bible to subscribe to? How many people have even read the book of Leviticus, the book they base their justification to discriminate against homosexuals on?

I am reminded of a letter I once read… written to conservative talk-show host, Dr. Laura Schlesinger. Dr. Laura had caught some heat for her disparaging comments about homosexuals.

The author brings up many good points:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear prescription glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

If the supporters of Proposition 8 spent half the energy on making their own marriages successful as they do trying to dictate everyone else’s lifestyles, perhaps our hetrosexual divorce rate would drop a bit.

God, I’m certain, doesn’t give a shit how we manage to achieve an orgasm…

…He has bigger fish to fry, and so do we.

Posted in C-Haze, Children, Dating, Economy, Marriage, Memories, Nostalgia, Relationships, Single Mom

The Diva, The School Paper and Her Hero

Posted on by C-Haze

My oldest daughter, The Diva, has been chosen “Student of the Week” at school.

She got her picture taken, and was interviewed for the school paper.

The picture, of course, was flawless- no diva would be caught dead with their pic in the school paper unless it was absolute perfection.

The interview was great-

Favorite Movie? “Short Circuit” (Ha, ha, ha- Go Diva!)

Favorite Book? “Where the Red Fern Grows” (We’re reading it together at night, one chapter at a time)

I know- pretty typical stuff.

It gets better though:

Her Hero of all heroes? “My mom. She’s had a hard time, but you can’t tell because she’s always laughing. She taught me to stand up for what I believe in, no matter what“.

I cried.

She really does understand.

My Diva gets it.

Finally- Disney Dad isn’t her hero anymore. The guy who shows up when it’s time to do fun stuff, but is nowhere to be found when shoes are needed, doctors need to be visited, daycare needs to be paid.

He used to be her hero.

Last year, she did a school project, and she had to tell the class all about who her hero was, and why.

She chose her father.

She knew when he showed up to get her for his visitation, they’d do something fun. They’d eat pizza somewhere, maybe go camping at the lake for the weekend… or to Six Flags… it was always something.

The Diva was disappointed in me.

I couldn’t take her camping or out to eat.

Amusement Parks were out of the question.

We would go to the park, or a museum- or some other place that was free.

She didn’t understand that her father owed me tons of money from before, or that he wasn’t fulfilling his financial responsibilities to her or her sister.

She didn’t know why we had gotten divorced to begin with- or that he had hurt me physically… she didn’t know about the criminal charges he faced, as a result of his violence against me.

I couldn’t tell her… I hated that he was her hero, but I wasn’t going to take it away from her…

… Though it almost killed me not to.

To her, Daddy was all about having fun.

She didn’t realize that things like paying for school lunches, field trips, and renting her viola for the school orchestra were beneath him.

I kept my mouth shut… I practiced a curious version of honesty with her… when she asked me a question about her father, I would answer her… putting none of my personal opinions into the answer, simply answering the question she asked… never elaborating.

“Mom, isn’t Dad supposed to be helping take care of us?”

“Yes”

She’d wait for me to elaborate… learning over time that I never would.

She’s older now.

She doesn’t need to ask me as many questions… she sees it all with her own two eyes.

It has dawned on her, slowly over the last year or so, that our roles in her life- her father’s and mine- are very lopsided.

One parent is sure to have fun with her… but is just as sure to tell her to talk to her mother when it’s time to stop having fun and get serious… somehow he knows when to vanish.

He knows how to make promises to her, only to break them when his girlfriend, or one of her sons needs something instead.

He knows how to take her places, pay money for her to have fun… but he’s just as adept at making commitments, swearing to take care of this or that… only to disappoint and never follow through.

Her father also knows how to utilize her as a babysitter, as her little sister’s mother… using her “maturity” at the ripe old age of 10 as an excuse to leave her home alone at night while he pursues his social life, attending concerts, going to bars.

When my daughter is scared, alone in the night, and tries to call him, he doesn’t answer.

The other parent, her mother, doesn’t have the means to go to the movies and out to eat and to the store to get new stuff very often.

But when the viola for orchestra needs to be rented, or shoes need to be bought, or a field trip needs to be paid for… if a trip to the doctor is necessary…

The Diva knows who will take care of it.

She knows I don’t have a lot of materialistic things to offer her… but she knows my word is good… I won’t break my promises to her… and I will never allow anyone else- certainly not a romantic interest- to so much as create the allusion that they are more important to me than my babies are.

She knows that I am the Mommy- I will take care of her, and I will take care of her sister- The Diva understands that when she is with me, I am the one who will be responsible for what does and does not occur.

Life with The Diva isn’t all roses… she certainly has her moments when I’m not her favorite person… like when she wants to spend the night at a friend’s house on a school night… or when I make her practice her spelling words… writing the words she doesn’t know three times each, until she learns them. She hates that I won’t let her have a myspace page…

She used to argue, when I would tell her no, that if she was with her dad, he wouldn’t care if she did it.

Over time, the realization has begun to sink in… it’s not that her dad doesn’t care if she does the things she wants to… It’s that he simply doesn’t care…

Period.

She gives me a run for my money too, sometimes.

Like when she saunters nonchalantly into my room, acting as if she wants to talk about the weather, but instead asks me about sex, STDs and birth control.

We all have our moments… and this one, like all the others, may not be lasting…

… But today, for right now, I am her hero.