Posted in C-Haze, Change, Conservative, Homosexuality, Hope, Marriage, News, Policy, Politics, Relationships, Religion

Haggard, Hatred and Homos

Ted Haggard, unfortunately is doing no favors for the gay community.

The embattled (and quite conflicted) man has lost his post as the president of National Association of Evangelicals, as well as his position as head pastor of the New Life Church.

His story made headlines and plunged him head-first into a nation-wide scandal when it was revealed that he paid a male prostitute- numerous times- for sex and methamphetamine… all while supposedly handling his business as Man of God Extraordinaire, devoted husband and father.

In recent days Haggard has admitted to another sexual liaison. He says it was during his tenure with New Life Church- this time with a 20 year old male volunteer. He claims this is further evidence of the “compulsive behavior” that ruled him during “that time” of his life.

Ted Haggard is- at least in part- a victim. 

I truly feel sorry for him.

That being said, I am terribly disappointed that he has chosen not to use his personal experiences as an opportunity to explain the truth about homosexuality.

Instead he prefers to perpetuate a climate of shame and self-hate.

He has been on numerous television shows granting interviews, and even has an HBO documentary airing soon. The emerging theme is the life of a man whose soul hasn’t grown an inch… a man who loves himself no more than he did when he was hiding his true identity from the world, his wife, and his children.

This is a man who truly despises himself for his inherant homosexuality… a trait that he knows all too well can never be fixed, changed or prayed away.

Yet he still pretends to believe otherwise… if he just prays a little harder, reads scripture a little more often… Ricky Martin will suddenly become less attractive to him than Cindy Crawford.

He  claims a therapist told him that he is “heterosexual with complications”.

Dude- You’re gay.

Just stand up and say it.

What a sad, sad existence he has instead created.

He put himself in a virtual prison… and rather than use this massive national forum he has garnered for himself to break out of jail, to finally be free… not to mention freeing thousands of other conflicted homosexuals in the process…

… He has instead chosen to continue living behind bars.

How truly sad.

I realize Haggard has his faults… massive ones… not the least of which has been his being anything BUT a loving, committed spouse. His wife has the right to be absolutely livid with this man… though she claims she knew about his “struggles”- struggles directly related to his attraction to men- for years. She chose to marry him in spite of this knowledge… but he chose to make life-long vows to this woman.

He should suffer the consequences of the damage he has done to his marriage and his family.

However, he has been handed the perfect opportunity to explain to the world- especially to right-wing evangelical Christians- that in spite of all his efforts, all his praying and soul searching…

… He is still gay.

He didn’t choose to be this way.

He simply is.

Ted Haggard has spent the majority of his life struggling with himself, his God, his church, his culture, his country… because the man who he really is… the REAL Ted Haggard… is homosexual…

… And that reality doesn’t play out well in the world he has created for himself- a world full of judgmental hateful bigots.

The resulting damage is catastrophic.

All one needs to do is watch him… I recommend viewing his recent interview with Larry King… to know that this man hates himself as much as he ever has.

He still hopes he can get on his knees and pray his way out of his attraction to men.

Why has he not figured it out, after all these years, that it isn’t going to happen? Why is he not on a quest to learn how to love himself?

Denial is indeed a powerful animal.

If Ted Haggard lived in a world where he was accepted for who he really is… a world in which he could both love and serve his God without fear that his personal understanding of himself as a gay man would sentence him to eternal damnation in hell… a world in which he did not have to hate himself for that which he cannot change…

… Perhaps things would have been a little different… a little better…

I will pray for Mr. Haggard.

I will pray that he stops apologizing for who his is, for who God created him to be… and start living and loving himself.

He deserves that much, if nothing else.

Posted in Barack Obama, C-Haze, Dating, Elections, Homosexuality, News, Policy, Politics, Presidential Campaign, Relationships, War on Terror

Barack Obama, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and the Irony of the Brave Cowards

It seems Obama is gearing up to deal with yet another controversial issue that is near and dear to my heart.

Recently, during a YouTube question and answer session with Robert Gibbs (Obama’s incoming White House Press Secretary), a viewer asked if this would be the administration that repeals the country’s  “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy on gays in the military.

The answer…


A resounding yes.

I never understood why we had to have this ridiculous policy to begin with, but I do realize that there are millions of fearful people in this country… otherwise kind-hearted people who don’t realize that their fear of that which they don’t understand has made them bigots…

… Rather than try to have a little compassion, perhaps educating ourselves a bit… we tend take the easy way out, as a result becoming cowards. 

Gay people have always fit neatly into the “we don’t understand” category.

Why is it that to so many people, a simple lack of understanding equals carte blanche permission to hate, judge and discriminate?

Oh well.

Back to the subject at hand…

I’ve heard all the arguments- absolute nonsense- that by allowing gays in the military, their assigned unit’s “cohesion” is in jeopardy… as in, if a gay man falls in love with another man in his unit, he may sacrifice the good of the unit’s mission by putting his lover’s safety higher on the priority list than that of the unit’s…

You know…  should they find themselves in that situation.


That argument became moot when the military began allowing men and women to serve in the same unit… would not a straight guy who’s in love with a woman in his unit potentially act in the exact same fashion?


… And yet, nobody’s raising the argument in that particular scenario, now are they?

The bottom line is that lots of straight people feel “icky” that they may be serving- eating, sleeping, soldiering- with a member of the same sex, someone who could potentially develop the hots for them.

That makes all kinds of sense.

Or not.

It’s ironic how some of the world’s bravest men and women so staunchly support a policy that gives them an excuse to be cowardly.


The good news is that times are changing, and we finally have a leader who is truly and unapologetically against discrimination- in all its ugly forms.

That truly is something to be proud of.

Posted in Barack Obama, C-Haze, Children, Elections, News, Politics, Presidential Campaign, Race

Secret Service, Sarah Palin and Hatred in My Land

Going along with the Republican Party’s theme of hate and bigotry, we hear news from Washington that the Secret Service is blaming Sarah Palin for an increase in death threats against Barack Obama.

These threats coincide with Palin’s remarks, beginning in October, centering around her claims that Obama’s been “palling around with terrorists”, her attacks on his patriotism, and her strange obsession with William Ayres’ almost non-existent link to the democratic nominee.

Certainly Sarah Palin is not solely to blame. She did not create this mind-numbing ugliness… though she definitely didn’t hesitate to capitalize on it.

The threats became so common- and credible- that the Secret Service warned the Obama family about them.

Understandably, this news was devastating to Michelle Obama who, like the rest of us, was absolutely dumbfounded by the hatred and threats of violence coming from McCain/Palin supporters.

Thankfully, the nut jobs that wished physical harm on Barack Obama and his family turned out to be the exception- not the rule- though they were quite loud and after a time seemed to be speaking for the masses.

This is the nonsense that needs to stop.

People can make whatever excuses they want to make… that Barack Obama is a radical, that he is unknown, that he is unpatriotic and un-American…

… But the fact remains… this is a country torn by racism- a nation sliced down the center, with half of us looking to move in the direction of progress, while the other half fears change, fears brown skin, fears anything that is different than that which they have become accustomed.

The ignorance this election has exposed is mind-boggling and heartbreaking.

The United States of America made history on November 4, 2008… we can look at our black children now, and tell them there are no limits… they can reach the sky if they want to…

… But we know, secretly in our hearts, that in doing so, it may cost them- our babies, my beautiful black-women-in-training- their lives.

This is not the nation we claim to be, the beacon of hope we represent to the rest of the world.

We are the land of the free, the home of the brave.

We are the melting pot.

We are the land of opportunity, where all things are possible.

How then, could we have allowed this to happen?

Bigots, and murderous white supremacists who feed on hate did not just crop up here, in our country, on the day Barack Obama announced his bid for the presidency.

Too many people turned a blind eye, long before this political season even began… convincing themselves and those around them that this ugliness did not exist… not on their watch, not in their towns, not in their homes…

… and certainly not in their hearts.

Too many people were wrong.

Posted in Barack Obama, C-Haze, Economy, Elections, Homosexuality, Joe Biden, John McCain, News, Politics, Presidential Campaign, Race, Religion, Sarah Palin, War on Terror

Hate, Bigotry and the Good Ol’ U.S. of A.

John McCain has finally decided to address the issue of his foaming-at-the-mouth supporters.

You know, the ones calling for Barack Obama’s death.

Not surprisingly, his campaign’s statement was completely inappropriate.

He not only decided to condone the words of his supporters, but also managed to blame Obama at the same time.


Brian Rogers, a McCain spokesman released the following:

Barack Obama’s attacks on Americans who support John McCain reveal far more about him than they do about John McCain. It is clear that Barack Obama just doesn’t understand regular people and the issues they care about. He dismisses hardworking middle class Americans as clingling to guns and religion, while at the same time attacking average Americans at McCain rallies who are angry at Washington, Wall Street and the status quo.


Where the hell do I start with this?

How is it that a bunch of wild cowboy McCain supporters calling for the decapitation of Senator Obama says more about Obama than it does about McCain?


The only intelligent answer would be to simply say that the first line of Rogers’ statement makes absolutely no sense.


McCain should take a careful look at the caliber of supporter he is attracting.

Honestly, this is like saying that the KKK’s support of John McCain is Obama’s fault, because the KKK doesn’t like black people.

Say what?

Rogers claims Senator Obama dismisses all regular Americans as clinging to guns and religion, and then attacks those same people at McCain rallies for expressing their outrage at Washington.


That’s all that statement is.

Barack Obama has never negatively stereotyped middle America.


Now he may have said a thing or two about certain conservative Americans who so desperately cling to the three G’s… Guns, Gays and God… but…

… They deserved it.

They do cling to guns and religion… and they are conservative…

… And now they are absolutely crazy, nutjob psychos on top of it all.

Side note: Who did the NRA just endorse?

It sure as hell wasn’t Obama.

Case closed.

Those folks don’t represent the Middle Class, they represent an all-white-scary-as-hell faction within this country… a faction that those of us who really are normal people would be well served to stay the hell away from.

These simple “hardworking middle class Americans” that Mr. Rogers wants us to feel so sorry for are the very same people who are calling for Barack Obama to be assassinated and decapitated.

Who’s the fucking radical in this scenario?

I guess it’s considered acceptable to call for the death of your candidate’s opponent… just as long as the opponent in question isn’t white, that is.

Mr. Rogers, if you believe the hate-fueled nonsense you are spewing, I’d say it is indeed a beautiful day in the neighborhood- your neighborhood, anyway.

For those of us who reside on planet earth, however, I say either stand up and fight- or run for your lives-

Cuz this shit just got ugly.