Posted in Celebrity, News, Rape, Sex

Cee Lo Green, Rape, and A Voice

As a fan of  “The Voice”, I was a little surprised to learn one of the show’s coaches and musical super-stars Cee Lo Green has been accused of sexual battery.

He looks so lovable and sweet, no?

I started looking into the story, and as details began to emerge, didn’t find it quite so far-fetched anymore. I am saddened, and I hope his alleged victim (if she is telling the truth) remains strong as she prepares to do battle against a powerful celebrity, the court system, and society as a whole.

Regarding crimes such as sexual assault, the motivation, contrary to what many think, is rarely sexual. Rape is generally an exercise in control. The predator wants to control its prey.

Simple.

This is why it isn’t unusual to find celebrities and other popular people, otherwise having no trouble finding willing sexual partners, committing violent crimes against women. Equally common, however, are instances in which celebrities fall victim to vicious schemes- untrue allegations designed to force them to pay obscene amounts of money to keep criminal opportunists silent.

Which of these scenarios is true in this case, though?

According to the complaint, Cee Lo took a woman to a restaurant in LA several months ago. He bought her a drink, and she remembers nothing after that point. Later, she woke up in a bed somewhere, naked. She does not live in the state of California, and when she returned to her home state, she says she immediately reported the assault to local authorities. At some point, seemingly weeks later, local law enforcement referred the case to LAPD for investigation.

Los Angeles police officers went to the restaurant in question, and spoke with employees and patrons. They also had the complaining witness make a phone call to Cee Lo in an attempt to get him to admit to having drugged the woman in taped conversation. Sources close to the woman claim that Cee Lo admitted giving the woman ecstasy (referred to in the phone conversation as MDMA), and apologizes for doing so. What he apparently does not admit to is giving her the drug without her knowledge, and does not admit to “slipping” it into her drink, as she alleges.

Cee Lo’s camp says the accusations are bogus, and that he is not a violent person. They claim the woman first tried to get him to pay her money to remain quiet, and when that didn’t work, she went to police and lied. This might explain the delay between the incident itself and the woman’s filing of her complaint. Another valid point made by Cee Lo’s supporters is that if he really is on a recording admitting to drugging his accuser, he would have been in custody by now.

Also, a quick google search of ecstasy and its side effects explains that the drug is a stimulant. Not only is it unlikely to render users unconscious, it generally has the opposite effect of keeping someone up for hours and- on occasion- days.

Not knowing anything about his alleged victim, and only knowing what I see on TV of Cee Lo Green’s personality, I am left to my own research to try and form an idea of what really happened.

The truth is, I don’t know. None of us do.

What I do know, however, is that the persona of a celebrity- what they show us when they’re walking the red carpet, giving interviews and performing for the public- is rarely an accurate portrayal of the real human being within. Cee Lo, it appears, is no exception.

Happy-go-lucky on stage, flamboyant, care-free and fun as he appears, he has a dark past. At best, he struggled in his younger years with a temper. At worst, he has a real problem with women.

While married to his (now ex) wife in 2001, Green was arrested and charged with simple assault and disorderly conduct. He’d had a dispute with his wife that turned violent, culminating in his threatening her with a wooden statue, and busting the windows of their car. Cee Lo neglected to show up to court after posting bail, and a warrant was issued for his arrest. Arrested again, he spent a couple days in jail, ultimately pleading ‘No Contest’ to the disorderly conduct charge. He was placed on probation, took a domestic violence class, and seems to have stayed out of trouble since that time.

Interesting, perhaps, is that his wife later filed for divorce (in 2004), citing “mental and physical cruelty” as the reason for the split.

Cee Lo has never made it a secret that he was not on a good, solid path in the past. In one interview he says he was a “kleptomaniac, pyromaniac, just plain maniac. I was enraged without an outlet. I was aggressive, and I was pretty efficient with it. I took pride in that ability.” He goes on to say that music, and his association with it, “tamed a savage beast.”

Did it, though?

Posted in Bible, Facebook, Faith, God, Marriage, Porn, Pornography, Religion, Rex Ryan, Scripture, Sex

Who’s Your Daddy?

A pastor whom I greatly admire recently posted a question on his Facebook page. The question asked his followers to chime in on whether or not they thought watching porn with their spouses is a sin.

I found it interesting, and a little disturbing, that each and every person (save for my husband and myself) answered that yes, watching porn with one’s spouse is a sin.

Personally speaking, I don’t enjoy porn, and neither does my husband, so it’s never been a part of our relationship. However, I am constantly amazed at the willingness people demonstrate to condemn actions that other couples may enjoy in the privacy and sanctity of their own homes.

Many folks will quote various scriptural passages (such as Matthew 5:27-28) referencing the no-nos of lust (“‘You shall not commit adultery.’[a] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”), as if human behavior is cut and dry, as if intimacy within a marriage can be applied in the fashion of “one size fits all”…

… And as if Jenna Jamison and Ron Jeremy were even around back in the day when Matthew found himself putting pen to paper (or however they wrote stuff down before there were pens and paper).

I find this sad (doesn’t the Bible have a thing or two to say about standing in judgment of others?), but more importantly, I find it irresponsible.

I won’t spend too much time on the biblical context, other than to say that I hope my husband looks at me with lust. We, as humans, are lustful beings, and I better be the one he is lusting after. Within the boundaries of my own marriage, I don’t find lust itself sinful, but lust for others might be problematic.

That being said, I hesitate to flat-out condemn most behaviors that couples may utilize within their own marriages. There is the obvious- abuse and infidelity- but actions that are A) victimless and B) pleasing to both partners should be fair game. There are many behaviors that are not right for me, or for my marriage- porn is one of them. I would never participate in an open marriage, and no one will ever catch me at a swinger’s club, for example.

For the record, I also will not be video-taping skits of my husband and myself in compromising positions, a la Jets’ coach Rex Ryan, his wife, and his foot fetish (though I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what he did, save for the embarrassment the tape caused himself and his family). Truly, if anything like that ever came out about my own parents, I would die on the spot. Instantly.

What I especially will not participate in is telling other couples how to operate within their own bedrooms. Not only is that a gross prospect (smacks of voyeurism, if you ask me), but couples face enough pressures on the day-to-day without having to deal with me sticking my nose into their private lives. I have my own marriage to grow and strengthen, thank you very much.

If other couples find these activities mutually enjoyable, and it helps to both keep them together and strengthen their unions, who am I to tell them their choices are wrong? As is the case in most areas of life- what works for one does not necessarily work for everyone- and vice versa.

This is especially important in times like these, when the divorce rate hovers just over 60%.

I find it difficult to imagine God, who created us as sexual beings, tsk-tsking us from the heavens, for participating in mutually enjoyable actions in our own bedrooms. My initial thought is that He (or She) likely has other things on His (or Her) mind (such as genocide, war, devastating mudslides, tsunamis, earthquakes, the categorical destruction of our planet and each other, hatred and injustice).

After perusing the comments of others on that Facebook page I earlier mentioned, I decided  to call on another pastor whose views I also greatly admire and deeply respect. In fact, this particular minister helped shape my own beliefs, as he is my father, Pastor Jon.

Our conversation went something like this:

Me: Dad, within the confines of marriage, is it a sin for a couple to watch porn together?

Pastor Jon: <Cough>

Me: Um… So… what do you think?

Pastor Jon: I think the answer to your question is, “Who’s your Daddy?”

Genius, I say!

My father’s point is that both individually and collectively as a couple, people must define for themselves who their “Daddy”, or Father (God) is. Once that question is answered, it is important to understand what that entity’s expectations are. Provided a person’s behavior remains true to that established figure as well as to their spouse, the answers become clear.

I view God as a parental figure, so the question of “Who’s your Daddy?” really resonates with me. Just as my own parents steer clear of my bedroom, I figure God probably stays outta there too. He’s got way too many children to be monitoring each and every harmless shenanigan I may or may not be participating in. He authorized the sexual choices my spouse and I will make when we stood before Him and said our vows, so we’re in good hands.

Remaining true to one’s beliefs, and acting in accordance with the expectations laid before us by one’s God and spouse, it would be difficult to go wrong. It is, however, a personal journey, and not every single person (or couple) will identify with the same “Daddy”. Not all Fathers have the same rules, just as not all couples have the same sexual palate.

I am thankful for my personal journey, for my God, and for my husband.

Now.

Let’s get it on!

Posted in Abortion, Current Events, Discrimination, Genocide, News, Planned Parenthood, Poverty, Race, Racism, Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy

Black Americans- An Endangered Species?

The Pro-Life-ies have a new tactic in the works, designed to shame black people out of having abortions.

Billboards are popping up throughout the south- most notably Atlanta, GA and Austin, TX- informing the masses that Black people are an endangered species, and that “The Most Dangerous Place for African American Children is in the Womb”.

Ouch.

Is this a blatantly racist attack against blacks, or is there a painful truth behind the messages?

The idea behind the billboards, according to Heroic Media, a pro-life organization out of Austin, is to highlight the disproportionately higher number of abortions chosen by African American women, as compared to other races. According to BlackGenocide.org (a pro-life arm of LEARN- Life Education and Research Network), while minority women account for roughly 13% of the overall female population, black women are responsible for 36% of all abortions. The site goes on to claim approximately 1,876 black babies are aborted in the U.S. every day.

I can find no independent verification of these numbers, but to be fair, I do realize that abortion among minority, low-income communities is disproportionately high.

That being said, we also know that 70% of all black babies that are born in this country are born into single-parent households. Minority children are much more likely to suffer from child abuse, neglect, extreme poverty, illiteracy, homelessness and premature death.

Sounds to me like African American kids are screwed no matter what.

Where is the breakdown? What is happening to our children in this country?

Some, like Heroic Media, would like us to believe the villain in the equation is Planned Parenthood. The group sites Planned Parenthood’s presence in primarily minority, low income neighborhoods. They also remind us of the horrible woman Planned Parenthood’s founder, Margaret Sanger, was. She supported Eugenics, and thought minorities and handicapped humans should be eliminated as a necessary means to build the strongest human race possible. It is widely known that with the help of haplessly manipulated black clergy, Ms. Sanger was able to open free clinics in poor black neighborhoods throughout the south, giving access to birth control for the first time ever to low income African American neighborhoods.

Some say Margaret Sanger was a hero- after all, she was merely bringing reproductive opportunities long available to wealthy whites into lower income areas. Many black residents got jobs at the clinics. Others were able to take charge, for the first time ever, of their own reproductive paths.

Others say Ms. Sanger was a criminal, a miniature Hitler, hell-bent on doing whatever necessary to create a master race. Motivated by her beliefs that African Americans are sub-standard and therefore worthy of nothing less than elimination, Margaret Sanger unapologetically charges into black neighborhoods feigning concern for the poor, while quietly plotting to annihilate an entire race.

Planned Parenthood does exist predominantly in low income neighborhoods, though I would submit the reasons for that have less to do with blatant racism, and more to do with the wealthy yuppies of America wanting nothing to do with such a negative societal reminder in their neighborhood. Wealthy women have no problem driving to the ghetto when PP’s services are warranted, so let the ugly underbelly of society stay where it belongs- right in the heart of the ugly underbelly of the city!

As for Ms. Sanger, the illustrious founder of all things birth control/women’s health/abortion related, I say she, like many of us, was an intriguing combination of women’s rights hero, champion, and monster.

I find myself thankful for the opportunities Planned Parenthood offers women- and I speak of so much more than just abortion services. Planned Parenthood offers women’s health care for those who do not have insurance. One can obtain pap smears, STD tests and birth control from their clinics, and not have to choose between paying their electric bill and taking their birth control pills in order to do it.

One thing we can all agree on is the fact that unwanted, unplanned pregnancy is an all-out epidemic in this country.

Why don’t we stop fighting over how to handle the issue once it’s too late, and the woman (or girl)- black, white or otherwise- is already pregnant, and put our collective heads together to figure out how to avoid the actual pregnancy to begin with? For millions, neither option- be it abortion OR bringing a baby into a family/society that doesn’t want them, resulting in abuse, neglect and often death- is acceptable.

What can we do about that problem?

Posted in C-Haze, Children, Current Events, Liberia, Sexual Assault

Parents of 8 Year-Old Rape Victim Arrested

Some of you may remember a post of mine from July of this year in which I wrote about a little eight year old girl, a child of Liberian parents, living in Phoenix, AZ.

The child was raped by four boys, children themselves, all of which were from the same neighborhood, all of Liberian descent. The youngest of the rapists was nine years old,  the oldest was 14.

The little girl was placed in foster care by child protective services because her parents did not want her back after she was raped. They said she had brought terrible shame to their family.

Now we learn that the very same parents have been arrested and charged with seven counts of child abuse.

Authorities have learned that for years this little girl’s mother and father abused her with sticks, wires and their fists. It is also alleged that she was left alone at night, forced to wander her family’s apartment complex begging for food.

I am glad to know this precious child is no longer living with this family. I am happy to learn her parents are going to jail.

However, the fact that this abuse may never have come to light had this little girl not been viciously gang raped, and therefore discovered by the authorities, has not escaped me.

God bless that poor child.

May her parents rot in hell.

Posted in C-Haze, Children, Current Events, Family, Liberia, News, Parenting, Rape, Sex, Sexual Assault

Shame, Child Rape, Phoenix and Liberia

You know, I really do try to respect other cultures.

I swear I do.

But this shit right here is disgusting.

The story takes place in Phoenix, AZ.

A little eight year old Liberian girl was lured into an alley by four boys- aged 9, 10, 13 and 14- who promised her some chewing gum if she went with them.

Once in the alley the boys restrained the little girl and took turns sexually assaulting her.

The poor child was severely injured and was hospitalized.

The boys were charged with sexual assault and kidnapping, with the 14 year old being charged as an adult.

When the little girl was released from the hospital, authorities had no choice but to place her with child protective services, rather than send her home to her family.

Why?

The family, part of a community of Liberian immigrants in Phoenix, does not want her.

She has shamed them.

They have disowned her.

We learn that this is not uncommon in Liberia, and in fact, this sort of b.s. occurs all over the world.

It is especially distressing when one realizes that rape was not a crime in Liberia until 2006.

Read that shit again- I said rape was not a crime in Liberia until 2006.

Unbelievable.

I don’t understand how anyone, regardless of cultural background, can justify turning their backs on a tiny child- under any circumstances- let alone in a situation like this one.

She was kidnapped and raped repeatedly by other children… fellow refugees…

… And she’s the one who has brought shame onto the community.

Talk about ass backwards.

I wonder what the family of those little child-deviants think about their sons…

Are they disgusted?

Worried about the fact that they have managed to raise child-predators?

Concerned about the type of men they will become?

Have these boys shamed their families?

I think especially of the 14 year old- the teen who is to be charged as an adult- he isn’t going to survive in a man’s prison system… as a non-American… not once his fellow inmates learn that he kidnapped and raped a little girl.

May God have mercy.

Posted in Abortion, C-Haze, Children, Current Events, Education, News, Parent, Parenting, Politics, Sex

Growing… Growing… Gone

Ok People, listen up.

For the purpose of this post, I don’t give a hoot what your personal views on abortion are.

Regardless, the above image, found on a T-shirt offered through the American Life League, is inappropriate for your child to wear to school.

Especially if said child is a mere 7th grader, attending an educational institution that consists of Kindergarten through 8th grade.

Duh.

The fact that this even needs to be discussed is quite unsettling.

Even worse is the fact that the school, because officials made the kid change her offensive shirt, is now being sued.

Her parents claim the school violated her first amendment right to free speech.

Please.

Schools have the right and the responsibility to keep offensive clothing- whether it be a too-tight pair of daisy dukes, a shirt with a gang-sign or the Confederate Flag, and most especially a disgusting, adult themed anti-abortion rag- out of the classroom.

My litmus test is this- if the attire in question causes a disturbance, an uproar, a distraction… it’s inappropriate.

This kid’s mom was smokin’ crack the day she let her daughter wear that thing to school. That she is now taking legal action against them for doing what she should have done to begin with- making the child take the darn thing off- is absolutely ludicrous.

Sigh. 

Only in America, I suppose.

Posted in Burger King, C-Haze, Children, Current Events, Family, News, Parent, Parenting, Sex, Single Parent

Burger King, Blow Jobs and The Diva

Ok, So I don’t know how funny this Burger King ad really is, but when I saw it, I chuckled.

The chuckle may very well have been more out of embarrassment and less out of any true comedic value, but there you have it, nonetheless.

The controversial advertisement is currently running exclusively in Singapore, which is a little suprising, given that Singapore isn’t actually known for being the sexual freedom capital of the world.

The ad is obviously being used to promote BK’s new sandwich, the BK Super Seven Incher and instructs would-be consumers ot “Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled” and “Yearn for more after you taste the mind-blowing burger…”

This, of course, all under a huge tag line that screams, “IT’LL BLOW YOUR MIND AWAY” with a profile view of a suggestive looking woman in heavy makeup, mouth open, get ready to blow… err… eat the huge burger.

As I was chuckling, shaking my head at the advertising pervs that came up with this particular campaign, I was reminded of an incident that occured with my daughter a few short weeks ago.

The Diva, as regular readers know, is a pre-teen. She’s 10 years old, soon to be 11 next month.

She is beautiful, extremely tall (already 5’3″), and while it isn’t her fault, looks entirely too old for her age.

My daughter is also becoming aware of sex, and has many questions at the ready… usually asking them at the most unexpected times.

Case in point- I was cooking dinner this particular evening, when my daughter saunters into the room. She had that tone in her voice like she just wanted to engage in small talk with me, perhaps about the weather or some other insignificant topic.

This casual tone always throws me off, and I always fall for it. Make no mistake about it. The weather was the last thing on my child’s mind at that moment.

Instead she floors me with, “Mom? What’s a blow job?”

Huh.

I was so startled by her question- the seemingly randomness of it- and by the fact that such a question was probably the last thing I expected to come out of my 10 year old’s mouth, that I dropped the casserole I had been making.

Yep.

Huge mess, all over the floor.

I explained what the term meant. I stuttered a lot, and blushed even more, but think I eventually provided an honest, though not too detail-oriented description of what oral sex is…

… Even managing to do so without passing out.

I think I’m getting better at this.

This time around, I only threw up a little in my mouth, as opposed to a lot.

I asked her where she’d heard it, and she just sort of shrugged and said, “I’m not really sure. Around, I guess”.

She’d been struggling with trying to figure out what it was, and when unable to, she had come to me.

Thank goodness she did, though I won’t lie and pretend like my first instinct wasn’t to send her to the laptop to google it instead.

That woulda got me off the hook, right?

I was sad that my daughter, at age 10, needs to know what a blow job is.

After looking at this ad, I guess I’m beginning to understand why our babies have become so much more sexually aware than we were at the same age.

Suddenly, the ad isn’t the slightest bit funny anymore.

Posted in C-Haze, Current Events, Michael Jackson, Music, News, Nostalgia, Off The Wall, The Whiz, Thriller

Michael Jackson, Peter Pan and Never-Ever Land

I was planning to talk about other things today, but those plans were waylaid by the untimely death of Michael Jackson. 

I haven’t known what to say with regards to his passing, or perhaps I’ve had too many words… regardless, I couldn’t put it all down on paper until now.

Like millions of people worldwide, I loved Michael Jackson. Perhaps I took him for granted, as being born in the late ’70s, I literally grew up listening to his music.

From “The Whiz” to his albums “Off the Wall” and “Thriller”… to his sappy “We Are The World” to his ridiculous mini-flick at Disney World… and all things in between, not to mention what came before my time (when he was part of the Jackson 5), and everything he’s produced since…. I have loved this man.

I remember watching the “Thriller” music video for the first time on Mtv. I had to be sneaky about it, as my mother had a strict “No Mtv” rule.

I was a mere 6 years old when I peeped it, and had nightmares for months thereafter.

I won’t pretend to have understood him.

Perhaps that was part of the attraction to all that is was The King of Pop.

He was, if nothing else, an enigma… a complete mystery.

His personal life, of course, has been in absolute shambles for years.

He was weird, he was eccentric, he was isolated… but perhaps most importantly- maybe even the key to all his strange idiosyncrasies-was his perpetual adolescence.

I read an article recently at Time.comabout Jackson’s life. The author discusses the well-known Jackson comparisons to Peter Pan- from his intangible unwillingness (inability?) to grow up to his very tangible Neverland Ranch. He makes a very powerful statement regarding the fact that maybe we were all wrong- maybe Michael himself got it wrong…

… He was no Peter Pan.

Jackson more appropriately fits the mold of one of the Lost Boys.

For a man who gave so much- both on stage and off- he never found whatever it is he was looking for in return.

Michael Jackson- predictably- fell tragically victim to a stereotypical world of drugs and excess… certainly nothing new in the world of superstars. However, with the sole exception of his prescription drug addiction, Jackson never fit the mold. Throughout his entire life, in spite of all his unorthodox behaviors and his non-traditional lifestyle, Jackson maintained an almost unheard of innocence. Still, at the age of 50, he remained absolutely childlike in his aura… there was an air of innocence around him that never diminished. Not with age, not with complete super stardom, not with lawsuits or criminal charges. He never hardened… and perhaps even became more fragile, as time ceased being his friend.

Perhaps the biggest tragedy of his entire life, even worse than charges of pedophilia, was Jackson’s self-hatred. Like a pre-teen in emotional pain, a child who cuts themself to release some sort of inner anguish, Jackson was faithful to his own self-mutilation tactics. He wasn’t a cutter, but managed to accomplish far worse in his absolute obsession with plastic surgery.

Some believe he was obsessed with becoming white.

I disagree.

I think he was obsessed with pain… I think he hated himself so thoroughly that he wanted the world to see the disfigured freak of a man he viewed himself to be.

And yet we still loved him, even as we shook our heads in disappointment at the fact that he no longer even had a nose to speak of.

The true source of Michael Jackson’s self-hatred will likely remain a mystery forever.

Was he irreparably scarred by the alleged abuse he suffered at the hands of his father?

The pressures of the industry?

A grueling public’s constant scrutiny?

Mental illness?

When I think of his personal life, his love for children- boys, especially- I do not think of a predator.

Rather, I think of the movie “Big“, starring Tom Hanks.

The premise of the movie centers around a boy- a pre-teen- who, tired of being short and puny, constantly picked on for his size, makes a wish at a carnival to simply be “big”. When he awakens the next morning, he’s big… as in an adult. The movie centers around an adolescent boy who is stuck in a man’s body- in an adult world. I remember the scene in which he meets a woman, and takes her back to his newly rented apartment- an apartment he’d filled with bunk beds, games and toys. The woman, of course, is expecting a romantic encounter… but Tom Hanks has other ideas. After a night of playing innocent child games and jumping on the bed, they fall asleep- with him on the top bunk, her on the bottom.

That, to me, is was Michael Jackson.

An adolescent stuck in a man’s body… thrown into an adult world while just a baby.

His behavior with boys was inappropriate for sure.

I do not believe, however, he preyed on them sexually, nor do I believe he ever meant to harm a single soul. To Michael, these were his intellectual equals. They were the age he was when he stopped growing, stopped maturing. When considering his small stature, his high-pitched voice and his never-altered childlike innocence, one begins to understand the Peter Pan analogies.

He never grew up.

To Michael Jackson:

You will be missed. We love you, and hope you can finally find the peace you so desperately craved.

Posted in C-Haze, Children, Conservative, Current Events, Dating, David Letterman, Democrats, Family, Funny, Humor, John McCain, Liberal, News, Parent, Parenting, Politics, Relationships, Sarah Palin, Sex, Willow Palin

David Letterman, John McCain and Willow Palin

Ok, so David Letterman may have crossed a line with his recent jokes regarding Sarah Palin and her daughter, with some people even calling for his termination from CBS.

I thought the jokes specifically about Governor Palin were pretty funny- and not the slightest bit out of line- though perhaps slightly off-color.

I did, however, cringe at his quip about Palin’s daughter.

The Governor had taken her 14 year old daughter to a Yankees game while recently visiting New York. Letterman joked on his show that during the Seventh Inning Stretch, Willow, the daughter, got “knocked up” by Alex Rodriguez.

Disgusting, for sure.

I’m not here to condone Letterman’s comments. Personally, I feel that for the most part, children of politicians should be off limits for all of us- late night comedians included. I do make an exception for people such as Megan McCain (John McCain’s daughter) and Bristol Palin (Sarah Palin’s oldest daughter) because A) they are not minors and B) they have chosen a life in the public eye- Megan as a popular blogger, Bristol as a public advocate for abstinence.

Personally, I’m not a fan of the double standard here.

Can you imagine, for example, had Conan O’Brien quipped, during Michelle Obama’s recent trip to London with her daughters, that Sasha (or Malia- pick a kid), had been knocked up by Hugh Grant?

Or worse, Boy George?

David Beckham?

I realize that politically incorrect, often distasteful humor, is par for the course in late night comedic television… but sometimes, as we all know, lines do get crossed, and feelings get hurt.

Unfortunately, and it pains me to say this- as I am a Letterman fan- his so-called apology on the matter was grossly inadequate. Letterman claims that his joke regarding Palin’s daughter was actually geared towards Bristol Palin, but I’m not buying it. Everyone knows Bristol was not the one who accompanied her mother to the Yankees game, and surely,  considering all of Letterman’s staff, if not the big man himself, someone would have picked up on this fact.

This, at best, was a terrible gaffe on the part of his research department. At worst, he knew exactly what he was saying and who he was saying it about.

Regardless, it was a completely inappropriate thing to say.

What enrages me, however, even more than Letterman’s false and disengenuous apology, is certain Republican politicians’ reactions to his comments.

John McCain, for example, when asked his opinion by news source Reuters, stated, “I don’t understand why Letterman would say that about a young woman… They deserve some kind of protection from being the butt of late-night hosts.”

Really?

Funny, considering McCain’s own comments about then-President Bill Clinton’s daughter, Chelsea, on the Letterman show back in 1998:

Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?  Because Janet Reno is her father.

It makes one wonder… are John McCain and friends truly against the idea of people attacking the children of politicians… or does it only become a no-no when said politician is a fellow conservative?

Letterman was wrong for saying the things he said about Willow Palin, and that family deserves a genuine apology.

… But as we all know, peoplewho live in glass houses should not throw stones.

Willow Palin deserves our outrage on her behalf. Unfortunately, when it comes from such sources as John McCain, the anger appears phony, crafted, politically motivated and most of all, horribly hypocritical.

Pedophilia, rape and teenage sex are not humorous topics- regardless of who is making the joke, or who the joke is about.

It is, after all, a national epidemic, as Sarah Palin and family know first hand.

Perhaps, instead of duking it out over which public figures’ children are and aren’t off limits, our time would be better spent advocating on behalf of the children who find themselves the butt of these most reprehensible jokes.

Posted in C-Haze, Change, Current Events, Dating, Hope, News, Policy, Politics, Relationships, Religion, Science, Sex, Single Mom

AIDS, Andino, and The Diva

There’s been a lot of talk lately about the AIDS epidemic- both in the U.S. and abroad.

I’ve blogged about it myself on more than one occassion.

It’s been my stance, since day one, that one of the keys to curbing what is fast becoming a plague is education.

The abstinence-only approach isn’t just unrealistic- it is dangerous.

It simply isn’t enough.

Some people may take well to a lesson on abstinence, but many others will ignore it entirely.

Too often, parents use abstinence as a cop-out. It’s an excuse not to have to talk about things we do not feel comfortable discussing.

As parents, we need to get over it.

We must educate our children. We must remove the stigma that is currently attached to having open, candid conversations with them.

AIDS will kill our babies if we don’t.

My oldest daughter, The Diva (she’s 10), was trying to make some money by doing extra chores the other day.

She decided to clean out The Hippie Andino’s car- he’s my 25 year-old baby brother.

I thought this was a wonderful idea.

When she was done with the job, she came back inside, and I immediately noticed the look of horror on her face. She was holding something in her hand, though I couldn’t tell what it was.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

She answers, in an accusing tone, “Look what I found in The Hippie Andino’s trunk…”, and shoves the contents of her hand in my face.

When I saw what she was holding, I could immediately feel the heat in my cheeks. Though I really had no reason to be, I found myself embarrassed for her.

She was holding a tattered box of condoms.

Oops.

I was confused by her tone… why is she being accusatory? Why is she acting as my brother is doing something wrong by having safe sex?

I decided to take this opportunity to speak candidly with my child- and hopefully turn this into a teaching moment.

So I asked her, “Why would you be upset?”

She responded, “Because- they’re condoms. Gross.”

I said to her, “He is being responsible. He’s having safe sex. He isn’t getting anyone pregnant, and he is protecting himself and his partner from sexually transmitted diseases.”

I explained that while condoms may seem “gross” to her right now, they are important.

They save lives.

The Diva’s world opened up just a little at that moment.

She didn’t view those condoms in disgust or contempt any longer, and with great relief I realized, she gets it.

It isn’t necessary to constantly harp on our children, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week about the horrors of sex and AIDS.

This particular exchange took less than five minutes, from start to finish.

We can educate our babies a step at a time- provided we start the process early enough. By the time they find themselves old enough to be faced with these grave decisions, they will have already had all the information they need to make the right choices.

Hopefully, by then, it will be second nature.

With absolutely no bombarding whatsoever- by taking advantage of the little teaching moments life throws our way- we can raise our kids to be responsible adults…

… One educational opportunity at a time.